I pride myself on the pure satisfaction I receive from being in control and I strive to provide a satisfactory experience for the both of us... Relax and surrender to my warm spirit as we explore all of the things you have always wanted to try, I do have a quieter side but I also have a very SADISTIC side I like to indulge in with the right person, is that you?

While the type of play I typically engage in doesn't involve physical danger, if I were to accidentally transgress, I do absolutely honor limits. I take some time at the start to go over a client’s limits, then monitor them closely throughout the scene. Play in the [BDSM] scene provides a mental arousal rather the traditional sense of sexual pleasure. For instance, recently I had a session where I broke my slave. My slave was pushed to his mental and physical edge—he went as far as he could go with me. Cathartically, my slave let himself go, expressed his true vulnerability and wept. I am a sadist above all in the scene; I get a high from breaking someone mentally and physically. The combination of the two is the ultimate turn on for me. These experiences are rare achievements in the years that I have played. I cherish those sessions, and they are amongst the most stimulating for me. As a woman who demands respect and full attention I expect the same from you when you get the chance to visit with me. The dungeon is not a place to be angry. Some women tell me that they’d love to punish men for a living. But if you have a client who’s 83 with Parkinson’s you don’t just beat the shit out of him!Writing a letter is a condition of entry to Mistress Xena’s dungeon. Be honest with her and she’ll reward you... or, indeed, punish you. When I got in touch I wasn’t quite ready to have a toilet brush shoved up my bum, but I was curious about this once-secret part of the city’s sexlife. The strangest ones are the ones who ask for the most unexpected things. What's weird to me is not necessarily weird to the vanilla bystander, but my strangest session by far ended up with me writing two comparative essays for the sub. Someone came to me and wanted to do an interrogation scene in which they would be tortured to get the information out of them. His fantasy was to refuse and be blindfolded and shot! He was surprised when I agreed. We did the interrogation scene and I finally told him he would be executed if he did not tell me what I wanted to know. He wouldn’t, so I put him up on a St. Andrews Cross and shot him with a paintball gun. The red ink splattered on his chest and he loved it. He later shared that he had asked many others, and all refused. Sometimes you have to be inventive and have an open mind to fulfill someone’s fantasy. Intuition, imagination and understanding the psychology of the dynamic. Use of the tools, equipment and bondage is the easy stuff and I’m great at all of that. I love nice equipment so my dungeon is fully equipped with the best of everything for most BDSM play.

There are strict rules, including no sex and no touching without permission. Also, clients have to be clean. I’ve got a very strong sense of smell, and if I’m in the dungeon the last thing I want to be thinking is: Oh my God, that BO’s making my eyes burn!My specialty is in tease and desperation play. There are many ways to put someone in “sub space”—a state of mind in which your inhibitions and ego go completely out the window and you are overcome by an utterly submissive feeling. One way to reach this state is via sexual desperation. By building up arousal over time without sexual gratification, eventually you reach a point where your sexual desires become too overwhelming to handle—it is a place where you are willing to do anything for gratification, and at that moment, my power over you is absolute. The variety is what keeps things interesting. I have a gentleman who’s into ladies’ watches, and one who’s into clogs. One guy likes to be asked Trivial Pursuit questions and be punished when he gets them wrong. Women often complain that men have no imagination, but they should see what goes on in my dungeon.

Thanks for your message. It does indeed seem that your errant ways merit correction. But, we can get to that. One of my most loyal and thoughtful submissives just bought me a new car. He offered me any car I wanted and I chose one that fits my personal life instead of one that you would imagine a famous dominatrix driving. It’s a minivan. It breaks all stereotypes and is perfect. There is no typical client. I see couples, women, CEOs, Uber drivers, married guys, virgins. There’s the client who saves up for six months to have a session that means the world to him and the client who just needs a thrill on his lunch break. It runs the gamut. Among others: Arrive clean. CLEAN. Immaculately clean. Clean like you are going to the doctor’s office and the doctor is going to make you bend in every revealing possible angle.I enjoy using my body to dominate and at 6’5” I’m quite imposing. That being said I do love my props such as floggers, collars and cuffs. I’m a Time Out writer and a very naughty boy. Is that how these things usually start? Because I’ve never written to a dominatrix before. I do, however, want to find out more. Perhaps you could fill me in (not a euphemism). For starters, what’s with the letters? I am blessed with strong, sensual legs that have the power to wrap you up and hold you into total submission until I am ready to release you. I also possess a naughty smile and mystic eyes that can keep your deepest secrets and desires to myself. They range from the “newbie” who has an interest that's been sparked in him and is curious and seeking a safe person and place to explore all the way to those who've been playing in the arts of BDSM for 20 or 30 years and only want to play with someone who has the experience and knowhow to take them to that special place only an experienced dominatrix can. Londoners have kink on their cornflakes these days. Post-‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, you can unabashedly read saucy literature on the tube, buy spanking equipment on the high street and introduce a bit of BDSM (that’s bondage, discipline and sadomasochism for the few of you who aren’t reading this through a gimp mask) into your suburban bedroom.