Nonconsensual exhibitionism and voyeurism is illegal, because the people getting exposed to your genitals or being watched aren’t willing participants. While this may be hot to fantasize about, these shouldn’t be practiced in real life. Sexual fluidity fantasies — in which the featured acts or characters are seemingly inconsistent with how one identifies sexually

Not everyone will be comfortable with changing their relationship structure, but if you do decide to move forward together, you’ll need to practice this kind of open communication,” she says. Try “I love when you’re inside me, how would you feel about exploring doggy style next time we have sex?” or “I love the way you look between my legs, would you want to taste me the next time we have sex?” What’s novel or new for one person may not be for another. So the what and where between folks’ fantasies will vary. Eyes glued to the screen during that Game of Thrones scene (yes, the one where Theon Greyjoy gets naked with two drop-dead queens)? Hand travel between your legs at the thought of a multi-person orgy? Voyeurism (watching people engage sexually without their knowledge or consent) and exhibitionism (exposing one’s genitals while others look on — sometimes with, sometimes without their consent) are the most common iterations of forbidden sex. What to do about it

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If you’re having cheating fantasies, Corrado offers the following advice: “Identify why you’re having this fantasy. Are you unsatisfied in your relationship? Are you craving an adrenaline rush? Is there some other internal conflict going on?”

For the most part, someone’s fantasies are about consensual non-monogamy. Meaning, one partner has provided their blessing for the others extramarital play. Some fantasize about their own non-monogamy.

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That way you can eliminate the risk of unwanted, or nonconsensual, acts — even in the face of control play,” he adds. Fantasies that center around novelty (incorporating a new sexual activity like anal or oral) or adventure (having sex in a new location) are common.

What if you want to do the same ‘ole thing in the same ‘ole way… but outside the bedroom? Again, ask your partner if it’s something they’d be down for. Whatever the fantasy, there should be a plan in place around what will happen in that sexual scene,” says Daniel Sayant, founder of NSFW, a club hosting sex-positive events and workshops. From spanking and blind folding, to electroplay or needle play, BDSM contains a wide range of sexual activities. What makes these so appealing? “Getting to explore and play different roles and personas can be really fun, creative, and freeing,” says Corrado. “It allows us to tap into a part of ourselves that doesn’t get out often.” Avoid making your partner feel inadequate by framing this convo about what you can add to your sexual play.

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Corrado says, “Really, this kind of play is about radical trust because it’s a vulnerable type of play. And that vulnerability has arousal potential.” What to do about it For example, “I’ve been thinking it might be hot to talk through a fantasy of another woman going down on you in bed. What do you think?” Next, solve for your W-H-Y. Go to couples therapy or break up with your partner if that’s right for you. Go skydiving or deal with the underlying issue. Some people clearly know that they want one romantic partner but want to be sexually explorative with other people. Other people want deep, romantic relationships with more than one person at a time. If you want to share with your partner — but not necessarily enact this fantasy — start by asking for consent to incorporate this kind of lingo in bed.

Why can group sex be so hot? Engle explains: “In most folks’ multi-partner sex fantasies, you’re the star of the show. The idea of multiple people wanting to have sex with you is part of the turn on.” And as Corrado says, “being able to do or be what and who you’re not supposed to do or be with your partner creates a layer of safety and vulnerability that further connects us with our partner.” What to do about it Sex on a beach or mountaintop. Boning in an airplane bathroom or while wearing a butt plug. Getting it on in a park. What are your feelings in the fantasy? Exploring your emotions may give you clues to your unmet needs. Whether you want to explore anal play, non-missionary penetrative sex, 69-ing, or bringing food into the bedroom, the first step is to talk about the addition of the act.Sadism and masochism (S&M) and bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission (BDSM) make up the second most popular fantasy. According to Dr. Lehmiller, bending gender roles and orientation also allows folks to inject something new, different, and exciting into your sex life, while simultaneously subverting cultural expectations of what you’re “supposed” to be or do. S&M is about giving or receiving pain through things like spanking, whipping, humiliation, and more.