Have You Eaten Grandma?

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A book on pronunciation, grammar, amd spelling may sound very dry and boring, but Have You Eaten Garndma? is anything but. But this is another common trope in these language-hating books. They claim that good grammar equals happiness. What they don’t say (because I don’t think they realize it) is that what they really mean is if everyone spoke and wrote like the author, then the author would be happier. Because the author hates other people for the way that they use language. And the author can see no other solution to this problem then getting everyone else to change. Hence, the language hating book that you’re reading. Brandreth isn’t even original with this idea. Here’s an earlier example of the grammar = happiness nonsense from N. M. Gwynne, another person who hates language. Ok, forget that. We’re starting off with the bad stuff in this book. Because it’s mostly bad. The bad Lies, lies, lies The guide does cover some ground with regard to some key areas of grammar (punctuation, commas, confused words, etc.) and even some of the linguistic differences between British and American words and expressions, but at the end of the day, I think you can find a better guide for grammar out there if that is something you are looking for to help you improve your craft. At times, this book is a little unfocused and tends to wander or drift for a while on a topic that could have been condensed a little. Our language is changing, literacy levels are dwindling and our grasp of grammar is at crisis point, so you wouldn't be alone in thinking WTF! But do not despair, Have You Eaten Grandma? is here: Gyles Brandreth's definitive (and hilarious) guide to punctuation, spelling, and good English for the twenty-first century.

The problem with the good parts in this book are that you have to wade through the garbage to get to them. You will literally learn wrong things on your way to the good things. And this is knowledge that you can get other places – where it’s not sandwiched between two slices of moldy bread. Have you eaten grammar? To me, punctuation matters and good spelling is essential. Clear written communication depends on them. The words we use and the way in which we use them are fundamental, but the nuts and bolts of grammar – and the vocabulary of the grammarian – are less important to me. […]

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Punctuation is important, but the rules are changing. Spelling is important today in a way that it wasn’t when Shakespeare was a boy. Grammar isn’t set in stone. Once upon a time, to split an infinitive was wrong, wrong, wrong. Since the coming of Star Trek in 1966, when “to boldly go where no man has gone before” was what the now-iconic TV series promised to do, we’ve all been at it. “To actually get,” “to really want,” “to truly love,” “to just go”—you may not like them as turns of phrase, but take it from me: they are acceptable nowadays. End of. It is a little daunting to write a review for a book dealing with the importance of correct punctuation, grammar, and good English - but I like a challenge, so here goes…

Gyles Brandreth is one of Britain’s busiest after-dinner speakers and award ceremony hosts. He has won awards himself, and been nominated for awards, as a public speaker, novelist, children’s writer, broadcaster (Sony), political diarist (Channel Four), journalist (British Press Awards), theatre producer (Olivier), and businessman (British Tourist Authority Come to Britain Trophy). Have you Eaten Grandma’ is a comprehensive guide to all those things we were taught by our parents and in English lessons at school and have now forgotten. Gyles Brandreth thinks he gets better healthcare because of the way he speaks. A knowledge of linguistics would help Brandreth from making this dangerous claim. His publisher is also on the hook for allowing this to be published. I don’t think whoever copy edited this book had an understanding of linguistics either. This harmful passage and the pratfall section on grammar is proof of that.It can be much harder than it seems; commas, colons, semi-colons, and even apostrophes can drive us all mad at times, but it riles no one more than the longest-serving resident of Countdown’s Dictionary Corner, grammar guru Gyles Brandreth.In this brilliantly funny tirade on grammar, Brandreth anatomizes the linguistic horrors of our times, tells us where we’ve been going wrong (and why) and shows us how, in the future, we can get it right every time. Is ‘alright’ all right? You’ll find out right here. From dangling clauses to gerunds, you’ll also discover why Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.In Have You Eaten Grandma?, he waxes lyrical about the importance of language as, after all, it is what we use to define ourselves and is ultimately what makes us human. Have You Eaten Grandma? by Gyles Brandreth – eBook Details There are a few places where Brandreth manages to not completely step in it. He tells us not to be which hunters but also says who has to be used for humans (p. 194). So it’s a wash. He also has a surprisingly good explanation of plurals in English – except for the end where he says words like government need to take a singular verb (p. 125). This isn’t the case, especially when the collective noun is made of people. So, again, ups and downs. This is an amazing reference book for people, who care about correct language usage and auto-correct people when they write something wrong (grammar/spelling/punctuation police such as myself). It can be irritating for some but language is one of the most valuable assets of humankind, and I do not think that we should take it for granted. We're losing important cultural values due to misuse of the language, and technology is usually the one to blame for this. Gyles Brandreth beautifully highlights the most common mistakes that we make when we speak English/write in English. Thus, it's not a book to read and leave it to collect dust on the shelf but it should be treated as a timeless reference guide. Chapter one, ‘Basic Punctuation or Have You Eaten Grandma?’, begins the foray into punctuation, followed by ‘Dashes, Hyphens, Slashes and more’, and ‘Apostrophes, Possession and Omission’. Brandreth also covers spelling in this book, with common (and sometimes less than helpful) rules, guides to prefixes and silent letters. There are also chapters on British English versus American English, abbreviations with a fresh inclusion of many that are commonly used today and on social media (some with a very humorous twist), slang, and rules for good communication. There are also fun sections that keen wordsmiths will enjoy, such as the A to Z of useful Scrabble words, and new words.

Best thing ever, laugh-a-lot, spanning everything. Great book, I'm loving this * Chris Evans, BBC Radio 2 * I love that this book is written for current society and that the author holds to conventional rules and still embraces modern language. From text speech and new abbreviations and initialisations, to the mistakes make in Tweets or statements by past or current politic leaders, as well as the embracing of gender neutral language. My particular favourite is the new ROFL (rolling on floor laughing) for older generations, ROFLACGU (rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up). I’ll admit that I love languages and therefore find the subject interesting. Still, I wasn’t expecting the humour, and there is plenty. Gyles Brandreth not only provides a lot of information on the English language, he does so in a very accessible manner, enticing the reader with his funny, and often cheeky, voice. As he states, the way we express ourselves is a kind of power. Acquiring it doesn’t have to be a hardship. On the contrary, it can be entertaining, as seen in the following poem. Try reading it out loud :0) Then do not despair, Have You Eaten Grandma? is the definitive (and hilarious) guide to punctuation, spelling, and good English for the twenty-first century. Maybe beginning with well or so is how you answer the first question in an interview on the radio? Did you ever think of that? At what point after hearing everyone do a certain thing do you stop and think, “Huh, I guess that’s how that thing is done”? Brandreth probably looks at dogs and wonders why they don’t walk around on their hind legs. Probably watched soccer and wonders why only the goalies are using their hands – which is the right way to handle a ball, duh.Which new words are acceptable? Which aren’t? It’s a minefield, particularly when you add political correctness to the mix. Qantas, the Australian airline, recently advised flight attendants to avoid using the terms “husband” and “wife” and “mum” and “dad” as “they can reinforce the notion that everyone is in a heterosexual relationship and make many families feel excluded.” “Slobkabobs” is in; “mum” and “dad” are out. Overall a fun and informative read that's already come in useful at work (it settled a discussion on the plural of clerk of works?)