I definately think that there are more women than you realize who like to be spanked. I for one was getting turned on just scrolling down & reading what everyone else shared about their experiences of being spanked. I've been spanked with belts,a tv cable cord,a wooden spoon,brush,etc.,mostly as foreplay...but I found myself wanting more of a "real" spanking for punishment,rather than just lightly for foreplay.

All the Spankos I’ve interviewed since joining the scene tell similar stories. The first professional spanker I went to said he told his mother when he was around ten that he was going to spank his wife when he got married. Most, both spankers and spankees, had these feelings from an early age. Some were spanked as children, and some had never been spanked. What we all have in common is the deep desire and near craving for it. Our first Underground Spanking dinner party. Organized by a bubbly redhead known as Chef Steel, these parties feature three-course meals paired with wine, served on china and crystal by respectful staff who glide about ensuring the guests' needs are attended to.Mary, what woman would not want to be spanked, its a girl thing. I will have to admit the best spanking was not from a male, but a female. Spring break visiting my room mates mother, told the rules, spanking was mentioned. Well we broke the cardinal rule of coming home late, and added to the fact we had a little too much to drink. Her mother look when we got home, we knew we were in trouble, told to go to bed. Late the next morning, we slept until about eleven, standing in the kitchen, jammies and we scolded. Thinking that was all, the look on our faces when told take the jammies off, her voice was stern, we did as told. I watched as she gave her daughter a sound spanking and knew I was next. Over this woman's lap I squirmed, pleaded, and finally danced around the room afterwards. We were told to get cleaned up and dressed we both got in the shower, the cool water cooling are red bottoms. We rubbed another bottom and admired how red they were. When I was in my 20s I moved in with a women 12 years my senior. She was quite beautiful and sophisticated. I was living in her house and shortly aster moving in she began to discuss “rules of the house.” I was attracted to her and needed a place to stay so I listened and when she first said violations would be met with swift stern punishment. I felt a strange sense of titillation and I thought ok I will go along. She asked if I had been spanked by my mom growing up and when I said no, she said it showed. She lived in a duplex she shared with her aging mother and when she thought I hadn’t shown her mother the proper degree of respect she scolded me and listed a number of infractions that she deemed worthy of correction. I love corporal punishment, discipline, spankings and role plays. I can be your mother figure, your Auntie, your neighbour, your boss, your teacher, your prison guard or anyone else in a position of authority over you. I can spank and discipline you for your wrongdoings in your past and re-enact childhood events in which you were bad and should have been punished at the time.I can role play any scenario you wish to explore, within reason of course. I consider it a privilege to be let in on your secret fantasies that possibly up until now, you have not been able to share with anyone. https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Parallels-Between-BDSM-and-Extreme-Ritual-Sagarin-Lee-Klement.pdf Three-quarters (78%) said they were born submissive. “I don’t know why. I was born that way.” “I was like 5 when I started having BDSM fantasies.” “At a young age, long before I felt any interest in sex, I daydreamed being blindfolded, tied up, and whipped.”

If you find that spanking is something you are both willing to try (or if you discover that there is another activity that you'd like to explore) the next step is to find reliable sources about how to do that activity safely. So I am writing a letter to your men if they haven’t gotten it yet. Now I know we don’t live in a one size fits all world but from all I’ve felt and all I’ve read this will ring true for many of us. Answer: Not at all. Again, this is consensual. I could tell her I don’t want to do it anymore but I have come to understand and appreciate its value…to me, to her, and to our relationship. There is so much trust and communication that is necessary when doing this kind of thing, that it has actually taken our love, trust, and intimacy to new levels. My wife wrote a great post about the benefits of having a spanking relationship with your husband, that highlights some great points regarding its ability to help eliminate tension between a couple. In your reply to SADSON, you are clearly taking sides based on how comfortable you must be about withholding the truth from a partner. You say the father should have “kept his mouth shut” about the affair he had! You know nothing about this couple’s values and decisions! Who are you to push your views on others? Many of us consider lying about cheating reprehensible! And the last sentence of your response (“I hope there were other women”) was astonishingly juvenile, mean-spirited, and vindictive—and for what reason? To take sides against a clearly tormented heterosexual woman! Disgusting and shameful! —Thoroughly Appalling Take Enrages Reader

Cassie's Life

Spanking is a thing? A sexy thing?" she asked. When I nodded, she paused for a moment. “OK, I'll give it a try." Jennifer caught me, of course. I'd driven 300 miles to go to a small spanking party in Washington, DC. It was at someone's house, and it was two days of awesome. At one point, I was in a hot tub with a woman who acted in spanking films and the female host, a retired police lieutenant. But as exciting as that was, I wanted to experience spanking with someone I loved. I didn't want to have spanking on the side; I wanted it front and center. I love to be spanked when it's a Good Girl sexy spanking. Those make me so hot, and there is nothing like the sex after one. My husband will give me the spanking on my bare bottom, over his knee so that he can penetrate me vaginally and/or rectally with his fingers during or after the spanking.

Players negotiate clear agreements about subs’ limits. In Fifty Shades of Grey, the dom, Christian Grey, presents his prospective sub, Anastasia Steele, with a lengthy contract proposal detailing how he’d like to play. They discuss each point. Steele accepts some, modifies others, and rejects several. Grey accepts her decisions and honors them by not delivering any sensations beyond her specified limits. Not all BDSMers employ written contracts, but all state their desires and negotiate their limits and how play unfolds. Consequently, BDSM play is erotic theater. All action is carefully scripted, in marked contrast to conventional (“vanilla”) sex, where many fall into bed with little, if any, negotiation of what’s about to occur. For many kinksters, BDSM feels intimate and powerful because of the negotiations and fantasy sharing it involves.Nearly half (46%) said they felt turned on by role-playing. “I get very aroused serving another’s needs.” “I have powerful fantasies of seeing myself as the devoted slave of a powerful owner.” “I trust my dom to hurt me but never cause real harm. With the deep trust we share, we can experiment with all kinds of consensual non-consent.” Last November, the New York Times' Modern Love column ran an essay by lifelong spanko (official term) Jillian Keenan, called "Finding the Courage to Reveal a Fetish." As she put it, "For as long as I remember, I’ve been fairly obsessed with spanking. This obsession felt impossible to share, so I was always hungry for cues that someone could relate." If you decide that you do want to try spanking, then it's time for a discussion with your boyfriend. I know you're worried about embarrassing yourself, but if you want to explore your desires, you are going to have to talk to him. If it helps, know that sharing what our sexual desires are with a partner, even if they don't share them or want to try them, is one of the ways we develop and sustain intimacy in sexual relationships. That diversity of sexual experience I mentioned also applies to how we categorize and describe our behaviors. Something that one person defines as super-taboo is totally unremarkable to someone else. You may find that spanking falls solidly within your definition of kinky (if that's even a word or frame you use), but that that you're not comfortable calling what you do BDSM. You may find that you're comfortable with the BDSM label, but that spanking doesn't match your definition of it. You may find that spanking falls into a separate category altogether, or no category at all. All of those outcomes are completely fine. What sensations feel sexual, and how we feel about them, are personal and variable. You get to name your desires in whatever way feels right to you and makes you the most comfortable. Our sexual lives and sexualities are totally DIY in this way. I relate. As a man, though, it's a little different -- we're not supposed to hurt women, we're supposed to protect them. I've never hit a woman in my life, and abhor those who do, including those who emotionally abuse their partners. That's the essence of my shame, deepened by the impossibility of trying to explain it to someone who is not a spanko, someone who isn't wired to understand. As Keenan said:

For example, by the time I was a teenager the physical aspect had raised to the point where my butt was bruised and welted with every single spanking...which occurred at least twice a month. I cannot remember much time between ages 8 and 18 where my butt wasn't marked in some way. If you're leaning towards yes, then the best way to satisfy your curiosity is to try it out (with your boyfriend's consent, of course, which we'll get to in a moment). Keep in mind that trying spanking once doesn't mean you're agreeing to be spanked every time you have sex. If you try it and you don't like it, you can stop. You might try it and find that you like it, but don't want a steady diet of it. Like any other sexual activity, trying spanking once doesn't mean that you have to, or will want to, experience it every time. Or, you might try it and find that it's something you want on a frequent basis. There are no rules here. Fast forward a few years, and a few sexually un-fulfilling relationships, to Charles, the first guy who made me feel like there wasn’t anything wrong or un-feminist about wanting to be spanked. I’d known Charles for years, so he knew about my feminist activism and the writing I do about women’s issues. Once Charles learned about my dom/sub fetish, he knew—and respected—how conflicted I felt. Charles wanted to spank a woman as badly as I wanted to be spanked, and that was what mattered to him. Plus, he’d struggled with apathetic partners, as I had, and he owned a paddle! Alas, Charles also had a girlfriend.

Suspicions on the River

And I was, by a few different guys who, to varying degrees, were down with giving me spankings. But I still felt kind of ashamed because they themselves didn’t enjoy it, but they spanked me anyway because they knew it made me happy. One-third (37%) said they enjoyed feeling pain within their specified limits. “Bad pain—stubbing my toe. Good pain—my dom flogging me.” “I’ve always liked over-exercising because it hurts.” Spanking was a particular favorite. It can be easily regulated—a hand in an oven mitt, a bare hand, a flogger, or paddle. And spanking can easily combine intense sensation with submissiveness and role-playing—the naughty child, the disobedient student or employee. I guess I want to say that there is a choice, at least to some degree, of what you think and feel. Their purpose being to humilliate you and your decision not be humilliated. (you could decide to be angry, for example).